When I first heard I was conceived by rape I was in disbelief.
Informed at the age of sixteen, hearing it was gnashing of the teeth.
Sperm donor left when I was three I couldn’t accept defeat.
He married my mother at sixteen, abusive he thought it was okay to beat.
Had to face him at family events awkward enough we couldn’t greet.
I always thought he ran and left cause he was the man to cheat.
Raised by a single mother, three kids it was a struggle just to eat.
Older brother left at eighteen, did his own thing chasing the streets.
Older sister was chasing boys, she was fourteen taking dudes meats.
I love her to death after hearing this we probably won’t speak.
Guess she got it from my mom what can I say, the cycle repeats.
My mom was chasing dudes, using her and I couldn’t say the least.
Just to support her kids, so on holidays we could have a feast.
Never said she wasn’t a good mother cause she raised a beast.
I was the one she confided into, I was the man that rubbed her feet.
I love you mother I neglect you and act like you’re deceased.
You had another baby right after me then tried to be discreet.
You abandoned him at a young age he had no emotions to secrete.
Please forgive me I’m in a predicament my emotions are beneath.
As I re-read what I wrote tears are running down my cheeks.
We’re afraid to become our parents but the thought makes us weak.
I’m going to make you proud thats a promise that I will always keep.
Losing my mind over a person I deprived myself of fucking sleep.
Made a mistake - I was tied down felt like I was on a leash.
Ten years down the drain, stabbed my soul I couldn’t reap.
People tell you what you want to hear but remember talk is cheap.
In a slump, depressed, only joy I had was my precious little niece.
A sunshine hit me so intelligent, eloquent, beautiful, & petite.
Remember, we got to move forward take our time, progress and leap.
Chasing our dreams facing these nightmares just call me meek.
Tribulations arise because of past traumas
it will be steep.
Hope you can relate to my story shed a tear just let it leak.
We all go through hell its life what can we do it’s just that deep.
Don’t let it get to you just unleash before you hit that peak.
As I overcome these obstacles I’m on my throne taking a seat.
YR